The point of having you?

I'm supposed to be heading to K.Lipis with Eilah.
But it got canceled since Mak is here in KL.
So as usually I check my mail box and then FB.

Something that I read.
Something that I really see.
I'm digging more and more.
Trying to look for the honesty again.

Though I was awarded as Nadi Negara,
I think..
It's just my thought..
I think.. I dah tersalah berdenyut at jantung someone.
Here we go again..
am I just a stop..?
That Jantung has its own nadi..
Nadi that always be wanting to support the Jantung very much..

Am I interrupting something?
Should I give up?
No.. I'm not giving up..
but I'm not sure either whether I'm the choosing the right nadi for the Jantung?
How do I know the Jantung is not impulsing with that nadi?

Perhaps I will just be me and keep my heart still with me. :)
Again..
I am not giving up..
but what is the point having someone where there is somebody is waiting for someone and somebody knows it.
Someone just cannot be someone special to everybody.
I want to see happiness around me.
I do not want to see people sad because of me.
I do not want to see people despair because of me.
Let them put the smile..

I will be fine..
because I'm used of it.
and I know I'm strong to go through it. :)
I will just put up the smile. :)
Let the happiness be yours.
Mine will be soon and someday.
Which I was wishing it will be with that someone..