Aliran Hati

Cuba untuk gelapkan dunia.
Namun tetap terang.
Cuba ku berdalih.
Akhirnya, ku lihat tinggal 3 jam lagi untuk daku keluar mencari rezeki sebelum terbitnya mentari.
Bulan kulihat indah menyinar.

Mulut itu mengukir senyuman seperti bulan.
Ku tanyakan kenapa.
Hati menjawab, aku ingin menangis.
Akal menyangkal, jangan kau kecundang akan emosimu.
Hati membalas, aku ingin menangis namun tidak mampu.
Akal buntu.
Bunyi si hati, aku ingin menangis, bagaimana?
Akal berkata, menangislah sepuasnya.

Berderai...
Bertibai..
Akhirnya..
Aliran itu mengalir deras..
pantas..

Deraian atas kebahagian mereka.
Deraian atas kesenangan mereka.
Deraian atas kecomelan mereka.
Deraian akan kejayaan mereka.
Deraian akan kecemerlangan mereka.
Deraian akan keharmonian mereka.
Deraian untuk kesayangan mereka.
Deraian untuk kelapangan mereka

Bukan cemburu, tangisan senyuman ketenangan.
Ya Allah, kekalkan keindahan kehidupan mereka itu sesungguhnya Engkaulah Maha Pelihara agar hati akan sentiasa menangis kesyukuran kepadaMu.

Tangisan itu menjadi lebih kuat..

Tangisan dosa.
Tangisan zina.
Tangisan tamak.
Tangisan sombong.
Tangisan nafsu.
Tangisan ego.
Tangisan amarah.
Tangisan cemburu.
Tangisan lemah.

Itu aku, bukan mereka, tangisan keinsafan memohonkan keampunan.
Ya Allah, hapuskanlah tangisan ini agar aku juga dapat seperti mereka sesungguhnya Engkaulah Yang Maha Berkuasa agar hati senantiasa menangis ketawadukkan kepadaMu.

Tangisan itu bertukar menjadi teriakkan.
Pekikkan.

Pekikkan pergaduhan.
Pekikkan kedengkian.
Pekikkan permusuhan.
Pekikkan pergolakkan.
Pekikkan ketidak puasan hati.
Pekikkan kecundangan.

Ya Allah, tinggal lagi 10 malam RamadhanMu.
Apakah 20malam Ramdhan ku diterimaMu, Ya Rabbi?
10 malam terakhir Ramadhan bagaikan hujung nyawaku.
seperti ku tahu bila akan betul gelapnya dunia untukku.
Sempatkan aku menyeka air mata ini dipenghujung itu?

Hate Good Bye

Good Bye..
Since when "BYE" is good?
Whenever that word is uttered, the feeling is always not good.
The atmosphere changed.
The emotion mixed up.
The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected

But
With "Bye" we will learn of other word "Miss"
With "Bye" we will learn of other word "Appreciate"
Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?

Gone. flitted away,
Taken the stars from the night and the sun
From the day!
Adios! Au revoir! Farewell!
with tears in eyes and lump in throat
A new adventure starting,
Filled with sun, sea and sand

Between us there are many miles
But, separately, we can share our smiles
Although not physically there, it’s true
My heart has traveled to be with them
May all that’s good come our way

Farewell, my sister and brother, fare thee well.
The elements be kind to thee, and make
Thy spirits all of comfort: fare thee well.
~William Shakespeare

*Our family missing of my brother (China) and my sister(USA). I miss the moment when all of us are together. :(

Words..

Too many words juggle and mumble.
Dancing around in the heart since it has been kept for quite a long time.
Screaming and shouting to be let out.
Not for seeking a sympathy.
But to reveal the truth and change the mind.
But those words have to learn to manner themselves.
Learn how to line up in sentences.
So none will get hurt.
To be accepted or not, it does not matter
One may not agree, but words do play a role.

This time, words have mission.
Not to be defeated.
Not to be decorated.
Not to kill the time.
It will appear as it is..
Like it or not, it is for life.

Words can be really deceiving isn't it? :)

House keeping

Give me till June guys..
I'm cleaning up all the mess in my life and everything here..
I'll open to "conference" soon alright?
Let me clear all my privacy first before I share it to the whole world.
Maaf certain posts terpaksa dibuang serta di "edit" kerana terlalu privacy untuk dihebahkan.

=)

Swap it away.. =)

Woot woot!
Kini bukan masa untuk bersedih..
Well, biarpun kami telah berpisah, kami tetap berkawan.. =)
Mungkin perpisahan itulah yang terbaik demi kebahagiaan dia dan cinta dia..
Malas nak gaduh. hehe

OK. Put that aside..
Woooshhh~!

Today my brother will be back from Shanghai.
Kak Liza already here 2 weeks ago arrived from Dubai and Brazil.
My parents tak jadi pergi Jepun since the nature disaster.
But they are planning to go to Norway soon.

Alhamdulillah now all my family members are completed and all are back in Malaysia again.
Home sweet home.
We had fun with the family gathering 2 weeks ago.
And since Abang Eysa will be arriving soon, we will have another big one again.
How can I be more happier with family members always there by my side.

End of March

Haish..
Actually these past few weeks kesedikitan kebanyakkan kemalasan untuk meluahkan kata-kata di sini.
Namun ada juga kasih-kasih hati di sana yang inginkan sesuatu kisah baru dari hati ini..
Hee~ *meroyan*
Sememangnya berjuta kata ingin diluahkan.
Tapi akibat keserabutan melampau kebelakangan ini, semuanya harus di atur satu persatu. :)

Bulan ke 3 pada tahun 2011.

Tiap - tiap minggu akan mempunyai Lunch date yang sangat seronok.
- Minggu pertama bersama geng MediaLab yang datang jauh dari Pahang. Thanks guys :)
- Minggu kedua bersama kekasih teman sebilikku di Changlun, Puteri Amalina.
- Minggu ketiga, weekdays with Syafiq, Zahid, Kak Tikah and Asfrina. Weekend with Buah hati. - Minggu keempat, with abang-abang. Weekend, dengan buah hati lagi.. hee~
- Minggu kelima (YE! Pergi Check calendar la. March ada 5 minggu!) - With geng2 gunung. :)

Bulan ke 3 pada tahun 2011
- My Parents and Siblings went for Umrah. Sigh. What a lonely world without them

Yerps.. That's my March.. :)

For Whom? For What?

Harini daku bercanda bersama Si Buah Hati ke Hot Air International Ballon Festival..
Beberapa kumpulan muda berkelompok berpeleseran di sana sini..
Riang gembira mengilai melompat sana sini..
Lalu Buah Hati bertanyakan, apa motif mereka?
Made me think...
For whom do we live for?
For what do we life for?

For me..
ini untuk masa depan daku,bukan untukku..
tapi untuk anak-anak daku dan keturunan ku kelak..
Agak susah orang nak memahami dan cuma sesetengah sahaja yang akan faham kenapa di awal usia muda.
Bagi sesetengah pemuda pemudi yang anggap waktu muda adalah untuk berseronok waktu tu adalah waktu untuk kita enjoy,kawan-kawan dan enjoy sampai pagi.
Yes. Itu yang daku fikirkan pada zaman jahiliyah.

Tapi bagi sesetengah pemuda dan pemudi yang bertungkus lumus belajar,berusaha mencari ilmu dan siang malam berusaha untuk perbaiki diri,mereka adalah insan yang memikirkan masa depan,lebihnya bukan untuk diri sendiri,tapi untuk membalas jasa ibu bapa,bakal anak2,bakal keluarga dan seterusnya legacy mereka.

Semalam adalah masa lepas ,Hari ini adalah masa depan mu..
Take care of it ,dont lose it because time will slowly consume all the effort that we have made.
We're not prince of persia who have the dagger of time and sand of time..
tidak akan ada istilah berpatah balik..
once the road has been taken,there's no turning back..
Ini itu adalah pengalaman kehidupan daku di masa lampau

Di depan ada dua batang jalan,satunya telah terang disulami cahaya lampu dan lampu neon sehinggakan malam terasa siangnya,dan satu lagi gelap hanya disirami cahaya bulan,dan kita tahu di jalan tu ada halangannya,kayu dan ranting reput yang akan melukakan kaki,hantu dan syaitan yang akan menghalang jalan kita.Sebaliknya di jalan yang terang tu,tanpa ada halangan..

Bagi manusia yang bijak,tentulah dia akan memilih jalan yang terang tu,kan senang..tapi bagi manusia yang bijak dan berfikir,dia akan memilih jalan yang hanya diterangi cahaya bulan..why?

Jalan yang terang,dihujungnya adalah kejayaan,sama dengan jalan yang gelap tu,dihujungnya kejayaan..
tapi yang membezakan,jalan yang mana akan mendewasakan diri si pengembara dan menyiapkan dirinya untuk masa depan yang penuh rintangan...

“Sesungguhnya Kami telah mengilhamkan kepada jiwa itu dua jalan yaitu jalan kefasikan dan jalan ketaqwaan.” (Asy Syam: 8)

Dalam ayat yang lain Allah menegaskan, “Mereka mempunyai hati, tetapi tidak untuk memahami ayat Tuhan, mereka mempunyai mata tapi tidak untuk melihat, mereka mempunyai telinga tetapi tidak untuk mendengar. Mereka itu seperti binatang bahkan lebih sesat dari binatang. Itulah orang-orang yang lalai.” (Al-A'raf:179).

Keluarnya si bijaksana dari jalan yang terang disulami kejayaan tapi mampukah dia menghadapi masa2 depan nya?hari tidak akan sentiasa cerah..janji Allah akan memberi ujian kepada setiap manusia.

Keluarnya si bijaksana dan pemikir dari jalan yang gelap itu dengan penuh kejayaan,t api luka-luka di badannya dan peluh menitik-nitik..
Baginya halangan yang di depannya nanti bukanlah lagi sebagai halangan..
Cuma ujian kecil untuk dirinya,kerana jalan yang gelap tu lah yang telah mematang kan hidupnya...
Yang menjadikan nya sebagai seorang yang bergelar insan..

Of course, hidup ini bukan hanya untuk kehidupan dunia.
Allah mengajarkan kepada kita bahwa tujuan hidup manusia adalah untuk menuju kepadaNya..
Dan untuk memudahkan hal itu maka Allah membekalkan jiwa yang bertaqwa dan akal untuk memikirkan, mengkaji dan memilih..
Kemudian kembali kepada masing-masing individu untuk memilih tujuan hidupnya, menuju Allah atau mengikuti hawa nafsunya.

Ibarat orang di perantauan, pasti kita semua ingin kembali dengan selamat ke kampung halaman. Tentunya tidak ada sesiapa pun yang ingin tertinggal selamanya di perjalanan hanya disebabkan terkeliru dalam menentukan mana jalan mana tujuan. Astaghfirullahaladzim.

Pembeza Hak & Batil

Maaf..
Sometimes I forgot that my blog is private and I have all kinds on readers.
Last month my posts were almost about my kejahilan time.
And a few posts back were about love stories.
Being a bit selfish of myself.
Seriously I have no intention to hurt or make anyone jealous by my words but all of it was just an explanation of why things happened and things my heart mumbled as well a seek of being understood.

As of this post, this will be a little bit more serious.
Things that sometimes that not we do not know, but we tend to neglect it.

Al - Quran.
Our love letters from the true Lover.
Our light of guidance.
Our life dictionary.
Our rules & regularization.
Our medicine of sadness.
Our teacher of prayers.
Our sickness cure.
Our news of happiness.
Our rewards.

It is The Furqan that always gives us a reminder and link us to Allah.
It is The Furqan, the fastest broadband and wireless to Allah.

Wait a second. I don't come up this topic on my own. This topic was given to me when I went for a liqo' 2 night ago. And it makes me really think hard! And hell yeah, I go for liqo' or the common word use is USRAH. And what is wrong of me, the naughty girl, the kasar girl, the bajet baik girl or the social girl going for liqo'? Dah tu kalau mati kejap-kejap lagi, takkan tak bawa bekal untuk kubur?? duhhh~ haha ;p


OK. Generally, how can you relate Al - Quran to your daily life?
Me, myself. I am not good at all reciting it in Arabic. Still merangkak.
But with all tafsirs/translations all, it shouldn't stop us of learning and understand the letters send to us.

It makes me think, if we can update our blog, our post/wall in Facebook, our status in twitter at most is everyday (tu tak termaksuk yang almost every hours and minutes), sms-ing our beloved one (parents, siblings, friends & gf/bf), how about Allah?

How about Allah?
Why not doing it To ALLAH, Because of ALLAH and With ALLAH?

Nah, here comes the issue.
Our BRAINS know what is right and what is wrong.
But it is our HEART that keeps on denying it!

Couldn't believe it?
Simple... I give an example.

We know that tinggalkan solat and tak solat is berdosa or tidak berkat melewatkan solat.
Who does not know that? Each muslim know that and we know the consequences.
But, we still doing it, don't we? Masih lagi liat subuh or ada yang tidak solat langsung.

Isn't it in the Al - Quran already stated that?
We know it, aren't we?
It is our heart kan?
That's why..

Pause here! I'm not saying I'm all good either. But these are all what I've been thinking and I want to share. I always believe of being moderate. Kiranya, bab-bab dunia kena pandai, bab-bab akhirat pun kena pandai juga. :)


Yeah. Most of us. Has a heart problem. We refuse to listen what have been told to us. We tend not to forgive others just because they make us hurt. We always see the other side of kindness. We tend to boost up our ego. And there are a lot more.

That is why we need Al-Quran to cure it. Let's free out our hearts from aching.
Let's our heart differentiate the Hak and the Batil by Al-Quran.
We never know when Allah is going to send Izrail to us.
But when Izrail comes, of course we want it to be easy isn't it? :)

Romantika

Ayah 71years old. Mama 60years old.

I have 12 siblings.
2 nephews, 5 nieces.

I'm not married...

but..

My parents....?

Dok honeymoon tak habis-habis!!! haish...

Last week they went to Bangkok.

Next week Umrah for 2weeks.

End of March, Japan.

End of April, Norway..

Mid May, Tasmania..

Anakanda?????????????????????? naaaaaaaaaakkkkk ikooooooooooootttttttttt!!!!!!

They said?

P sendiri pakai duit sendiri. Hangpa dah kerja... huuuu~ kejam!

Yang dok p honeymoon lagi tuh buat apa? hadoiiii..

Kudaku..

Kudaku lari gagah berani~...
Lari lari...
Kudaku lari....

*Sigh*
Sememang betul pun kuda daku sudah lari...
wuaaaarrrgghh!

Al-Kisahnya bermula apabila putera puteri Ayahanda nak support sikit untuk beli kuda pada tahun lalu..
Asalnya serabut nak kuda putih atau merah.. woha!

Keserabutan ditambahkan lagi apabila sesetengah jenis kuda tidak "charming" berwarna merah.. Jadinya pilihan adalah Si Putih.

Proton Gen2.

Suzuki Alto

Proton Neo.

Tapi memikirkan keadaan persekitaran, jikalau pilih Si Putih, sudah tentu acap kali perlu dimandikannya.

Jadinya pilihan adalah Si Merah yang berjenis..

Makanya, pilihan Si Merah adalah

BMW 128. Elegant nox~ ;)


Mitsubishi Eclipse. Menyucuk yaww~ ;p

Mazda Ex5. Mengaummm yo~! ;p


Nissan Lancer / Proton Inspiria.. Menyengat seyh! ;p

Namun...
Salah satu kuda ini hanya dapat ku kejar 3-4 tahun kemudian....

Kerana sekarang daku terpaksa menunggang lagi Si Kancil. ;) akibat kehilangan Sang Wira.

Royalty beauty..

One tissue packet was finished just to wipe off the tears of mine while watching Hachiko - Dog's life story.
Actually I've watched it last year October when Mama just got back from US.
But somehow or rather, this time it touched my heart again.

It's about royalty.

Royal to your God.
Royal to your religion.
Royal to your family.
Royal to your friends.
Royal to your love.
Royal to your work.
Royal to your country.
And most important thing is to be royal to yourself.

It's to Allah we face each every second in life, thanking Him for the breath and grace given.

"It is He Who shows you His Ayat(proof, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelation, etc) and sends down (rain with which grows) provision for you from the sky. And none remembers but those who turn (to Allah) in obedience and in repentance (by begging His Pardon and by worshiping and obeying Him Alone and none else). " (40:13)

It's to our parents we fall to, loving as much as they brought us up as what we are.

"And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents, but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do" (29:08)

It's to our rest of family members, relatives, friends and community we hold on to, trust and protection for the joys, happiness, doomsters, sadness as well as problem.

"The weakest human being is whom cannot find a friend and cannot be friend of but the more weakest human being ever is whom futile/neglects the friendship/relationship that he already has"
(Saidina Ali)

It's to our love partner in life we bond to, always being there of the troublesome and toughness journey of life.

"It is He Who has created you from a single person(Adam), and (then) He has created from him his wife (Hawa), in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her. We he had sexual relation with her, she became pregnant and she carried it about lightly. Then it became heavy, they both invoked Allah, their Lord saying: If You us a soleh child, we shall indeed be among the grateful" (07:189)


It's to our responsibility we earn the hardness of working, the beauty of life.

"From Aisyah, Rasulullah SAW gave his message, meaning: “Know it Allah love His follower who is when he is doing his work, he will do it successfully."

And the man can have nothing but what he does. (53:39)"

Therefore, I pray to Allah, the only God and the only one who know what His mankind wish for and to Him I bow to, to have a strong royalty in myself because of the people in my life, I would not want to lose each one of them. :)

Cemburu = Dengki..?

Nope.
It's different.
You can envy.
But don't have to feel jealous.
Envy is cemburu
Jealousy is dengki

It's different.
When you envy with someone's success, it will motivate you to become a better person.
But when you jealous with someone's success, it will pull you down when you're happy to see that person ruins.

It's different.
When you envy with someone's happiness, it will motivate you to pray for that person long happiness and your happiness too.
But when you jealous with someone's happiness, it will make you more sad and heartache.

It's different.
When you envy with someone's life, it will motivate you to push your life harder.
But when you jealous with someone's life, it will destroy your own life instead.

Mountain smiled at me

A mountain smiled at me
As I went passing by
Deep in carpets of purple sage it stood
With a twinkle in its eye.

Serene, it surveyed a vast domain
Of meadows, spacious green, of crystal ponds
And waving fronds
Of lush grasses on the plain.

Then it gaily waved to the distant hills
And then waved back again
With cheery greetings in the golden sun
Fresh washed in the recent rain.

Then all around God's handiwork
As far as the eye could see
With voices strong sang a delightful song
Which was shared with me.

My grateful heart echoed back
As I journeyed on my way
"How good it is to be alive
And, oh! What a beautiful day!"

Post. Title.

Post.
Title.

No...
Not about writings.


But..
Names..
Power..
Credibility..

For these few years back, I always try to keep myself low.
But somehow or rather, people always nominate me..

I really have no idea what did they see in me?
Because on my observation, there are more people hate me rather than like me.
Well, I have no idea why they don't like me and I don't mind at all cause I cannot force people to like me since till now non has dare to face me to tell the reason why they don't like me.
* I wish someone can face me so that I can change to be somebody better*

But, since if they hate me, why nominate me?
So that I'll be burden and suffer on it?
Cannot be...
because they always know that I always give out the best and I always got the co-operation. heran!

Then what?? Arrrghhh!
Can't help it!
Haish..

I thought when I leave my uni life, I'll be nobody like everybody but a somebody.
But it doesn't happen.
At work, I'm given a trust to be a "Police Woman" and today...
today!!!!
I'm give a post as Vice-President by TP Girls School Alumni.
So now, I'm somebody like nobody but a everybody.
uh!
hate it!

Can't I just seat back and relax, have a good weekend with family and friends rather than busy with events? Erghh!

End 2010. Begin 2011

2010 was another memorable wonderful year.

New experience of career, friendship, family, activities and life as well as closing of 2010 with love :)

Officially Graduated from UMP in Degree of Software Engineering.
Officially Kor Inspector of University Volunteer Police Force.
Officially employed at DHL IT Service, Cyberjaya.
Awarded as Nadi Negara.
Traveled here and there to few countries.
Jumped here and there to few hills and mount.
Crossed over here and there to the rivers and sea.
Great memorable birthday of 23.
Gallivanted here and there with awesome people, MPP, MediaLab, FSKKP, SUKSIS, 4B, Paksi, Karisma, Aspirasi, OGKL, KMK, Smart, SPA, Pejal's, SS 19 peeps and list goes on.
Lust here and there with scandals.
Love endlessly. :)
Mama's homecoming from USA. (Only for 2 years)
Bang here and there, car accident. TWICE! Sigh..
Wed here and there, friends are married..

2011..
Continuously breathing and amazingly live for a better day each seconds with love around for another great year of Rabbit (The Year I was born/1987 peeps) :)